Never Had a Fighting Chance
by Castion-and-Clockwork
Summary: Nyota feels betrayed when she finds out that in Spock Prime's universe, their counterparts were never romantically involved, and sees the amount of affection that the Ambassador held for his Captain shines dimly through in the younger pair today. Is it fair to fight for a man who had always, maybe will always, love only Jim? Or does she still have a fighting chance?


**Hello my lovely readers! This is just a little snippet that I've had running around my head for quite a while and I finally posted it. **

**I kept wondering what it would be like for the crew to meet Spock Prime and how they'd be absolutely curious about their own counterparts, until I got to Uhura and I was like "My god, she'd probably want to hear how he and her alternate self were just as in love as she and her Spock are now, and would be devastated to hear nothing but gentle praises about Jim and see Spock Prime reminisce mostly about his greatest friendship and human relationship being with his Captain." **

**Yes sir, I got kicked right in the feels. So this is just a look at that confrontation she has with her boyfriend after the talk with Spock Prime. If ya'll want to read the actual talk, tell me and I'll write it up and post it. :)**

**Warnings: I've tried hard to write them in character, but of course that may not have come through clear enough so I apologize if you find that aspect lacking. :( But I do hope you enjoy otherwise. :)**

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There was a sudden sort of sadness in her dark eyes and even though she wouldn't catch his gaze, Spock still felt the stab of her jealousy, the burn of his assumed betrayal like a boiling scar across his mind.

"You spoke to my counterpart even after I warned against it." Spock stated just as even and cold as always, Nyota dropping her strong shoulders and letting a sigh escape her lips like a tree flattening after being sawed down.

"Did you know what he was going to tell me?" Tested her voice, watery yet not quite the real question he knew she wanted to ask. He could tell by the way her eye brows were drawn up in a gently wondering way, her hands clenching subtly at her sides, all signs that she wanted to break rank and speak her mind, to yell at him.

And a small part of Spock wanted her to.

He shifted his weight, the human part of him feeling quite over whelmed with how close she was to tears and how he hadn't been taught to deal with all of these emotions, this confrontation with altercations. "If you are suggesting that I withheld information from you, then no. I did not know what type of relationship he had with your counterpart."

It wasn't quite a lie.

Because Vulcan's _cannot lie._

"But you still _knew_." She accused hotly, the blame evident in her wavering voice. "You knew something wasn't right, because you've been pulling away ever sense he came aboard this ship and began taking to Kirk like they were old friends. I'm not stupid, Spock. I know I am no longer_ logical_." She looked up then, pinning him with an innocently understanding frown on her pretty face, a gesture that turned his stomach like one of Doctor McCoy's medicines.

He tried to open his mouth to retort but the words were stuck as his brain tried to filter the answers._ 'I never knew how much he loved him, I never knew what they did, I know nothing of their timeline, of the nature of their relationship-'_ and the fact that he simply _did not know_ was like a sickness festering in his mind, it hurt to comprehend all of the variables, all the unknowns, all the chaos in the universes. And yet-

"Kirk knew." Nyota ground out; diamond hard and clear, her tone cutting him like she was spitting glass.

And all he could do was nod slowly, gently, like how his father might.

"Yes." His eyes darkened as they downcast, voice somber, deep, and low. "Jim knew."

Her hollow laugh that followed rattled with tears, her head tipped back, widening her stance with a graceless sigh, eyes dulling for a bit as if she was crushing under the pressure of the knowledge. "I don't even know why I thought talking to the Ambassador would make me feel any better. I should have known, should have seen it from the way he favors Jim, almost like they've been to the ends of the galaxy and back." Nyota shook her head slowly, maybe trying to rid herself of all the blatantly obvious clues. "I guess I was just hoping…"

There was a thick silence between them at her pause and Spock found himself loathing the emptiness. He felt at fault. He felt _weak_ again.

But what words could he say to apologize for the nothings he had done? He had not pursued Jim in this timeline, had not neglected his relationship with Nyota, and had never once tried to press his counterpart for information because the answer had been so clear in the elder's eyes. It was Jim. It had always been Jim.

How does one fix something that you have not broken?

"I'm not mad, Spock." Nyota chided softly, albeit bitterly, as she saw him start to pull back and stiffen in his own skin, fighting himself and the warring sides of what was_ right_ and what was _necessary_. "Disappointed maybe and hurt a little," she clarified, locking his gaze, "but I'm not angry with you. Or even Kirk for that matter." She reached for him and caught the slight panic in his eyes, a look she never saw directed at the Captain when he accidentally came into contact with his First Officer. She creased her mouth in a wistful frown, and folded her hands in front of her, dignified, strong, and unmovable. "I'll let you go because the Ambassador told me how much his Captain meant to him. I'm waiting to see how galactically monumental that relationship will be in you two."

Spock watched her soften then, just a whisper of a smile on her face as she stared at him hard and tried to read him.

Nyota knew it was a lost cause but she perused Spock anyway. Just for old time's sake.

And he stared back, eyes locked on her as she scanned and scanned and came up blank.

"Goodbye Lieutenant." Spock nodded professionally, feeling his body anatomically recede to the Vulcan social standards. They protected him; they gave him a legitimate reason to shut down.

Nyota's eyes tightened at the sound of her title but she took it well in stride, and finally raised her hand in a delicate, well-practiced ta'al.

"Live long and prosper." She sweetly said, smiling blithely as he raised his hand and mirrored her sign. Nyota remembered saying it to the Ambassador when she had parted, recalled the worn wrinkles that creased his emotive eyes, the slight sad turn of his lips speaking volumes of apologies and excuses for the knowledge he had given her, and it then struck her that she would never, in any universe, be able to watch Spock grow old. And, even sadder still, _neither would Jim._

"Peace and long life." This younger Spock answered then, startling her from her thoughts and, for a flicker of a breath, his eyes were gentle and forgiving as his counterpart's had been as he whispered "_Thank you_" leaving her there with tears stinging her eyes as she tried swallowing them back.

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**How was that, my lovelies? Any good? **

**I may write more to this piece if you guys have any ideas on where to go with this. :) Please review and tell me what you think!**

**Its been a pleasure, from your loyal and avid writer,**

**-Castion and Clockwork**


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